This is my first entry. i plan to write here on his blog more often as of this year. tomorrow i have my appointment  for my sigmoidoscopy in the morning. they are looking in my intestines and colon, for any polyps, tares that have been causing my bleeding issues. im sitting here trying to drink this magnesium citrate laxative stuff ad it is horrible!! my mum is coming up tonight from San Bernardino to take me in the morning to my appointment. I'm just anxious for it all. and upset that i can't talk to me ex boyfriend about it. he was my best friend and now that we are not together and we can communicate things have been harder then just our problems together. There is so much that I miss and so much that I am ok with at he same time. I'm doing everthing i can to move on, but deep down it hurts so bad. i keep telling myself its a waste because he already has someone new and has made up his mind last year. i just have to move on, I want to be wit someone that want to be with me and only me. i can not wait to find someone to spend my life with.